Love Lives On - Inspiration from The Day of the Dead.

Love Lives On: Making Room for Remembrance Together

By Rev. Rhona Segarra

What happens when we make room for the people we miss, and for one another?

At our November 1 service at Unity of New Westminster, we explored that question through a Día de los Muertos-inspired gathering. With respect for the Mexican tradition that inspired us, we created a community offering table - an ofrenda - and invited people to bring photographs and reminders of loved ones who had died.

Those who hadn't brought something could write a name or a memory on a wooden butterfly.  A candle was lit beside each memorial.  As our table filled, it became a tribute to lives that had touched our own.

I invited people to approach the table with a smile if that felt right, or with a tear if that felt right.  There is - always! - room for both at our table.

A place for connection.

We humans can be remarkably uncomfortable around death. Sometimes we avoid the subject. Sometimes we stop mentioning someone because it hurts too much. Sometimes we think people should just move on and "get over" their losses. But we never forget, and sometimes admitting our grief can feel as if we're burdening others with our pain.    

Yet remembering can offer a powerful way to connect. We can share a story, listen, or simply sit beside someone without trying to fix what hurts.

We don't need to make grief look a certain way to belong in community. And laughter doesn't make our love less real. Sometimes a funny story helps us remember the person beyond the sadness of their death.

Comfort through shared humanity

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

I hear tenderness in those words. Mourning is a human experience deserving of care. We can offer some of that care by making space for one another's memories, including long after the initial flowers and phone calls have stopped.

A simple practice to take into the week

I offered three invitations: tell a story, find a gift, and carry it forward.

1. Tell a story about someone you remember with affection.

2. Find something their life contributed to yours.

3. Then consider how you might express that quality in your own life.

And if there is someone living who would be glad to hear from you, consider making the call. Tell them what you appreciate about them, while they can hear it.

At Unity of New Westminster, we explore dogma-free ideas for living with greater calm, connection, and contentment. Religious or not, you are welcome to join us as we learn from life, one another, and the world's wisdom traditions.

All are welcome here. All are worthy here. All are celebrated here.

Watch Rhona's "Day of the Dead" full talk, Love Lives On